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Friday, January 28, 2011

Why You (Yes You!) Should Be An Ally

Keeping It Queer
By Erica Chu


Why You (Yes You!) Should Be An Ally

You may be skimming through this article and thinking, “But I’m gay. Why would I need to be an ally?” Well, by the time you get to the end I think you’ll understand.

One of the worst things a society can do is to act as if the experiences of one group is the universal human experience. A conversation I had with my grandfather when I was eight might help explain this problem. All my life I’d eaten white rice with Chinese food, eggs, or occasionally with some meat and gravy dish, but one day I got in an argument with my Anglo-Nebraskan grandfather, who told me rice was a food exclusively served with sugar, cream, and raisins. I was shocked, horrified, and vehemently against the idea of this rice pudding monstrosity replacing or even supplementing rice the way God intended. I insisted that rice was not a sweet food and that everyone eats plain rice, but he argued that it was a dessert.

Even though I am still uninterested in rice pudding, I can now acknowledge that my experiences and preferences are not universal, and the fact that I like plain white rice and am around a lot of people who also do doesn’t mean everyone does or needs to. It’s fairly easy to come to those conclusions when it comes to food, but the difficult history of minority groups in this country has taught us that such lessons are not so easily learned.

Gay people have historically been treated as outsiders and even been labeled sick, sinful, or somehow set apart from the “normal” people. We have all witnessed the social and emotional pain that a belief in “normal” sexuality has caused and have come out against such unfair treatment, but being straight is not the only sign of “normalcy.”

In the US, there is a persistent belief that normal Americans are of white European ancestry, speak English as a first language, are middle class, heterosexual, cisgendered (nontransgendered), Christian, formally educated, able-bodied, slim, and believe strongly in monogamy, raising children, patriotism, and capitalism.

These qualities are great qualities to have and there is quite a large number of people who this description accurately describes, but there is absolutely no reason someone should be given preferential treatment because they fit the description of “normal” more closely than another. Yet this is exactly what happens in most civic, professional, and social environments.

When we’re shown favoritism by coworkers, people in the street, or by larger institutions such as educational systems and the government, we become privileged. We expect that we’ll be treated in a certain way, and we have options for taking action if our expectations are not met. There’s nothing wrong with expecting to be treated well, but the problem is when we demand that we be treated well at the expense of others.

Privilege comes with how we are perceived, so even though I don’t make much money, because I have fairly new clothes, I am perceived as middle-class and therefore able to gain the privileges that come with being fairly well off. For instance, I’m not followed in clothing stores, I am seated right away in restaurants, and I am not harassed by police. If at any time I am, I have the option to fight back through talking with supervisors and appealing to my “upstanding” qualities. If I tell the supervisor, “Your employees should not harass me because I’m not a thief” they will likely not believe me. I might then be tempted to say, “Look at me: I am clean, my clothes look nice, I have a job, I come from a good family, I am a college-educated person—how dare you!” These comments would likely elicit an apology from the supervisor, but appealing to my class, education, and employment only supports a system that would reward that narrow definition of “normal.”

This is where you being an ally comes into play. Look again at the description of the “normal” American and note how many of these qualities describe you. Yes, you may indeed be a minority on more than one count, but it’s time to take a look at all the privileges you do receive for appearing “normal.” This is your starting point for figuring out how you can help make this world a safe and affirming place for every kind of person.

Make sure to read my column in two weeks, which will be titled “Seven Things Allies (YOU!) Can Do” for more specifics on this theme.


Erica Chu is a student at Loyola University Chicago and is seeking a PhD in English with a concentration in Women Studies and Gender Studies. She manages the blog keepingitqueer.blogspot.com and can be reached at ericachu@msn.com.

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